Rhino Memories

The Saracen Head Bar, squats as it always has in front of St Mungos Well which is apparently in the back court behind the pub. Some may have said in the past that to get to heaven you sometimes had to pass through the gates of hell. Famous for its white T and shammie, it was the favoured hang out for the down and outs ( winos in other cultures) of the city, and very often the only place that served them. In all the esteemed University student guides, it was down as a must visit, not neccessarily because it was one of the contenders for oldest pub in Glasgow ( a title still hotly fought over), but more likely because it was akin to a visit to the human zoo. They would appear on a dark night huddle around each other at the bar ogle, giggle, treat every one with suspicion and general contempt depart generally never to be seen again.
No great loss. It was my local bar for several years when I set up studio in East Campbell street, purely because it was at that time the safest and most civilised bar near to WASPS Dove Hill Studios. I have fond memories of Tommy (I fought the Japs) an unsuccesful safe cracker, wee wet Mary and her wellie boots; Angus and Alastair the two brothers who inherited the pub from their father, and who famously never spoke to each other.
But one memory will always endure with me, the night we drove a Rhino jeep through the main doors into the Sarrie.
It all started because Rony a friend from the west end used to chide Angus( the older brother) about the lack of cappucino in the bar. This was a relentless joke which Angus one day got fed up with and promised cappucino on demand, but only if we could get Rony`s jeep through the main doors and into the bar. A pretty safe bet!
Well no, the next day the absolute width of the door was quietly measured along with a corresponding measurment of the Rhino jeep, we had an inch and a half either side.
We picked a thursday night for the maximum impact (chelidh night and the day that welfare was paid out, some thursdays were like walking into the witches party from Tam O`Shanter)
So on a foggy October Thursday night the jeep was ligned up, headligts on full beam, with the door. The light hitting the door windows was my que, to open and pin back the doors and in roared the jeep, all four wheels in the bar, with Rony leaning out the drivers window, claiming his first cappucino for the next morning.
Friday morning and Angus had managed to get a sort of one cup cappucino machine, the bet was honoured in full. A fleeting memory, I`m nearly at Bill`s tool store, a right turn into Bain street and I`m nearly there and there it is on the corner of Bain and Moncur Street BILLS TOOL STORE at last, in I go purchase the 5 sheets of finest grade wet and dry paper and depart